how do you spell idiot? M-A-L-A-Y-S-I-A-N D-R-I-V-E-R

There are some people on the street who should be more aware of themselves, i.e. if they fall into the "capable" category of drivers or if they fall into the "slow" category (hey, I don't want to call anyone a retard).

How many times have I waited at an intersection for a motorist who is so incognizant of the right of way rule that he or she causes everyone to wait while they sit there in their gold-trimmed, dwarf-hanged and overly ornamented car interiors interminably trying to make a decision and being too bloody chicken to just take a chance (at least having balls is more attractive than idiotic and inconveniencing reticence). It's about that time when I wish I had a heat-seeking missile deployment unit bracketed to the underside of my car. And what use are heavily stuffed cushions in the rear window, haaah?!

Then there are those idiots who cut into your lane while you are speeding along (legally of course) in it. These dufuses love to use the old unwritten rule that drivers behind are responsible for watching where they are going and therefore liable if they hit you in the back. It's like believing that a head scarf will protect you from injury if you fall off a motorcycle - blinkered faith, in my view. Gosh, they should hang head scarves all along the divider rails so that when lorries lose control and drive onto the kerb, they'll bounce right off without a scratch to either party.

So back to the idiots who cut into your lane. There are the cocky bastards who think they are on an F1 circuit (wonder if Schummacher would ever drive like he does on the circuit on a civillian road without the millions spent on safety suits and features?), but even more annoying are the ones who wait till the last possible moment because their balls are somewhere up in the intestinal cavity, then take an irrational and stupidly impulsive action like turn left into oncoming traffic (you and me) and then because they are responsible citizens, slow down to make sure they don't look like they are being careless drivers. AAURUHSGHSRUURURFFFCCKCUUUUUGH! That's the time when I wish I had a crossbow loaded into my dashboard.

Another retarded cousin of the above idiot is the one who sits in the sliproad waiting to ease into traffic safely, not having noticed the completely empty lane he or she is sitting in with a stalled convoy of motorists behind her, either quietly having strokes or busily punching their horns. This cousin wonders why everyone is getting upset with her when she's only trying to drive safely. Err... every seen the damage a big truck wreaks when it plows into a stationary object in the middle of the should-be-empty road???!?!?!!!!

Wake up, people! Your lives and your family's lives are on the line. You have a god-given mental facility. If you ain't gonna use, then maybe there's a reason you're an accident waiting to happen!

Sharing is Caring

Just thought I'd share... Don't ever valet at Hartamas Shopping Centre. I saw the jockey get into someone's car and proceed to dig his nose. His index finger was rammed right up his nostril and he was digging like it was the gold rush. So, don't valet at Hartamas Shopping Centre, lest you find all sorts of hidden treasures on your steering wheel. Now. Excuse me while I throw up.

MALAS nak cakap

Another piece of sophistication from Malas (Malaysian Linguists' Association) - President Ambi Mohan wants the latest, as-yet-unreleased Harry Potter instalment banned because "pot" means marijuana and it obviously means Harry is a ganja-smoking, weed-brained junkie - isn't it obvious? Why else would he think he was going to magic school and flying after metal dragonflies on a broomstick?

However, I am not so much pissed at Ambi as I am impressed by Amir Muhammad's ingenuity - it is all a trick, right? Amir has picked up on the stupidity of "people who have something to say" who actually have not much to say of importance at all, and has created this piece of news to make a statement. I hope so, because I'd rather have been gullible for a day than to be forced to acknowledge the stupidity of MALAS. It just seems too annoyingly possible to be true.

So, "Ambi Mohan", thank you for being such an example of the worst of those out there who believe standing up for what they believe in is actually more important than the stupidity of their belief. Sure, everyone has a right to believe in whatever they want to believe in, but I really feel in order to exercise that right, they need to practise a modicum of common sense and responsibility to others - and not to be an unnecessary emotional and mental burden on the public conscience!!!

Only vaguely more irritating is that portion of the public that notices (yeah, some don't even notice) that something is wrong with what someone is saying, that essentially their moral argument is flawed, or that they make no sense or that they are being entirely egocentric and lack perspective, and yet that portion of the public refuses to comment or ponder or discuss these things, as if discussing them turns into an act of gossip rather than conscience or moral imperative.

Talk is good. Good, well-intentioned, and constructive talk. It clears the air, it establishes more points of reference and clarity between perspectives and means that we remain connected.

BeeYatch Out.

hi, i'm new

... and the thing irritating me the most right now is rude people on the phone. they ring you and ask you who you are. I've had so many irate "who are you?" "you called me. who are you?" "eh, who are you?" conversations, it's enough to make me wanna kill somebody.

then they ring you and ask you where you are, as though it has any bearing on the conversation at all. especially irritating if they have dialled your home phone number.

also the frontliners in customer service who don't know how listening works - it's an ACTIVE experience, not a PASSIVE one. So if I'm explaining to you why I have called, please don't interrupt to ask me my name or where I'm calling from - you should have asked that from the start, bitch! Asking too many questions seems to me to be an avoidance tactic - total unwillingness to listen and understand, as if it's hard work.

rude bloggers who go off tangent - focus and pay attention to the crap that's a comin' outta yo mouths!

LAst but not least the Malaysian Linguists Association who were included in Amir Muhammad's page in a local daily. They protested the fact that kids nowadays were being too influenced by rapper language and that in order to curb this alarming social ill, they were proposing to change "The Da Vinci Code" to "The The Vinci Code".They then provided an example of how "da" was being wrongly used in place of "the" by quoting a rapper lyric : " hanging with da hoes". Now, this evidence really is a crucial element they failed to use in their favour in this inane argument.

So here's what's wrong with it all:
1
The MaLa obviously has no members who ever studied history, anthropology, science, maths, cryptology, art or even common knowledge for that matter. "Da Vinci? Oh, yeah, I love da shoes."
2
Correct me if I am wrong, but most hoes I know don't even speak. In fact, I find them rather wooden, and sometimes a little spiky in attitude.What? whores? Oh. So, there's nothing offensive about spelling "whores" wrong, but spelling "the" wrong is an utter no-no. Well, it is the most used word in English, right? So I guess it deserves respect. Those stupid hoes can fend for themselves. F**king c**ts. I hope I spelt that right.

Stupidity and wilful ignorance really get my goat. Will somebody reach over and give them a tight slap???????

Chicken Invitation

Just got back from a fabulous short break with a wonderful girlfriend - fun, frivolous and expensive but totally worth it. So what do I have to bitch about? Trip was marred by the stupid sms/phone etiquette of someone who has piqued my interest recently ;-)

Just as I was packing for the trip I received a call from the PA of an arts supporter (very very very persistent woman!) to visit an art shop. Not wanting to commit, I said I'll get back to her. I then checked with this certain someone if he was going as we were both ambushed into going to this art shop together last week. He said not sure as he's out of town and asked how I was doing. I replied saying I was looking forward to my trip and getting away from KL. And then he asked how long I would be away and if I would like to visit him at his place out of town. Finally! The invitation I had been waiting for had come! Hints have been dropped over the past few weeks about this out of town place and how I should visit but no real invites...so I excitedly (and stupidly) said I would love to go and how long would he be there yadda yadda yadda. And what was his reply? NOTHING. NONE. NOT A WORD. NADA. ZERO. ZILCH.

How freaking rude????!!! You ajak orang and then bila orang kata yes, you tak jawab apa-apa pun. Hello, where are your manners??? Even if you suddenly thought OMG what have I done and wanted to retract it at least come up la with some stupid excuse for backing out. Bowdow. So geram!!!!

Now 3 pairs of shoes, a skirt, a blouse, a bag and 2 lip glosses later I am not so angry. More disappointed actually. Hello, even if this was just a kawan kawan thing, the decent thing would have been to follow up with some kind of response and not just no berita. Not even an sms or call a few days later. He seems like such a nice guy but his phone manners leave much to be desired.

Seems like ajak-ajak ayam or this guy is just chicken. Cluck cluck...

Excuse me...Do you mind if I stick my fork into your crotch?

Last night I was at TSB catching up with a girlfriend I haven't seen in a while. Girlfriend was caught in a jam, so I had some time to myself, taking in the bangsar 'sights' (Mobile Valley Central) as I sipped on my ice-herbal-ginger concoction. When suddenly when from the next table wafted the distinct scent of a group of businessmen (a mixture of cigar smoke, whiskey and dunhill cologne), punctuated by the declaration of "But in KL, I'm not married!!" Cue: guffaws of agreement.

GRRRR! Sick chauvanist PIGS! I wanted to castrate every single one of them and force them into a lifetime of singing reworked Handel castrato arias on being faithful to your spouse at every single charity event in KL..

Anyway, I was told to watch Gubra. Apparently it's very therapeutic for situations like this. Any takers?

FAAAKKKK OFFFFF!

Kennie "fatty" Doyle is a back-stabbing, two-faced, inexperienced pre-school teacher posing as a theatre practitioner. Bastard! Don't ever dis a Diva, especially when the Diva is walking back into the room.

Rashid Salleh doesn't know his proper place. Just because he once taught a theatre class doesn't give him the right to snub a critically acclaimed actor who also teaches theatre. I've seen my students start their own company. Where are his? He always thinks he knows better than people who've more experience. And it's time to grow up Rashid.

Gavin Yap is just a snivelling little twat. Just admit it and get on with life. How long is your face gonna be buried in there, eh?

My first childish outburst here on this blog. Fuck! It feels great!